Dear Headmistress
My little darling, Chardonnay,
Returned to me from school today,
Her report card showed not a single “A”
I hope you see my point.
Chardonnay is a special child,
Gifted, sweet and kind.
She is a veritable genius
But with your teaching, falls behind.
I have read all the online blogs
And been on Mumsnet too,
They agree that Chardonnay is good,
So what are you going to do?
I know that she is “chatty”
And she can’t tie up her shoes
I know that she’s “unruly”
And can’t do her 2x2’s
But really she is very bright
I mean, just the other day,
She saw a picture of the Bard himself
And said “Mummy? Play?”
She can be quite a handful
But that’s easily answered by
A chocolate bar or candy
Or a new toy… or she cries.
I’m sure you understand me,
When I say how good I am;
At parenting, I’m number one!
Have been, since she was in a pram!
So it can’t be me, or my darling girl,
As we’re really trying hard.
Please could you see in your heart,
To change her report card?
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