Stupid Bunny - On the Occasion of Creating Sugarpaste Bunnies

Stupid bunny; he’s so crazy,
Hopping through the fields all day!
With no care for happy daisies,
Trampled when they’re in his way.



Stupid bunny met a Farmer,
In his field full of corn
Said the Farmer to keep calmer
“Steady now; he’s looks forlorn!”



Stupid bunny kept on skipping,
Through the fields and down the lane.
Stupid bunny kept on tripping
Which ended in quite dreadful pain!



Stupid bunny thought “How funny!”
As he saw a steaming pie.
“Wait a minute! That’s my mummy!”
Stupid bunny cried and cried



Stupid bunny was so bereft
To see mummy in a pie
He packed a bag and then he left
Bye bye, Stupid bunny… Good bye!

The Untimely Demise of the Easter Bunny

I got into my car today
To make my way to work,
When something on the motorway
Stopped me with quite a jerk!

I stopped the car to have a look
At what was laying there...
It was white, red and bloody,
But looked quite like a hare!

Clutched in its grip; a basket
With eggs of colours bright!
I took a breath and stepped right back,
It gave me such a fright ...

I'd hit the easter bunny!
He flew over my car!!
He'd bounced along the outside lane,
He really went quite far!

His ears had flopped over his face,
His eyes rolled in his head,
His tail was but a bloody stump,
Oh god! He's really dead!!!

His arms were all but broken,
His legs had lost their hop!
His nose was still a-smokin',
This road was his last stop.

I had to act and act I did;
I pulled him out of sight,
I parked the car and waited
'til I could bury him at night.

I took him deep into the woods
And dug a shallow pit,
(I had to fold his corpse in half
To make sure he could fit.)

Now Easter's here and, alas,
No eggs have come today!
For the Easter Bunny's dead,
'Cause he got in my way!

But there is a happy ending,
To this terrible tale of woe!
I can still get chocolate eggs!
Thank goodness for Tescos!